Motivation Monday - Stupidity

Stacked Thank Yous

Remeber when I said that I have a bunch of thank you cards stock piled? Yea, well, I found a way to use them up.

It's called.  Thank-everyone-for-coming-to-your-birthday-party-with-or-without-a-present.

Ten on Tuesday - Thursday Edition

I'm late.  Again.  So sue me.  I'm busy.  And my internet sucks.  It's not sucking right now.  Kinda.  Speaking of internet, who do y'all use for service?  Do you bundle it with your TV and/or phone?  I need to change who I go through to someone that works.  Help!

1. What is your favorite piece of furniture in your house?
   Ummmmm...my bed... It's so comfy.
   
2. If it was raining so hard on a Saturday that you couldn’t leave your house, what would you spend the day doing?
   Yep.  I'd love it.  Sleep in for shizel.  Watch movies.  Putz on the 'net.  Read a book from my stack of books to read.  Bake/make something in the kitchen.  And if I got bored enough I'd clean.  But only if I was super bored.
    
3. What was your favorite candy as a child?For some reason I loved Abba Zabbas.  I don't know why.  They were always so heard to chew/gnaw on, but the peanut butter center was so worth it.  Oh, and big chew bubble gum.  I don't remember being a chocoholic when I was younger, but I sure am now!
    
4. Did you get an allowance? What was it based on? What did you do with it?Nope.  I did not get an allowance.  Chores were expected to be done and my parents didn't believe in rewarding for something that had to be done.  Plus, I've been working since I was like, 7, so I've been getting a paycheck since then.  Granted, it was only like $5 at the beginning, but still.  That's what happens when your family owns a business.
    
5. Do you have a favorite Etsy store?I have a lot of favorite Etsy stores.  I "favorite" a lot of items and sellers.  Sometimes I favorite to come back and order something later.  Sometimes it looks like something I can totally make, so I favorite it to save the idea.
    
6. Do you prefer time with family or time with friends?Yes.  Haha.  I prefer time with both, separately or together.  Whatevs.  I like having people around.
    
7. Looney Tunes, Tiny Toons, or Animaniacs?Tiny Toons!  I have something for things in miniture, and they were miniture Looney Tunes, just much much cuter.
    
8. Best daytime talk show: Oprah, Ellen, The Doctors, Tyra (ha!), Dr. Oz, or Dr. Phil?What's a daytime talk show?  I don't get to watch any of them...darn work...  But if I could watch one of them it would either be Oprah (duh! she's gives out cool stuff!) or Dr. Phil (cause he's straight forward and real).
    
9. Would you rather have the power of invisibility or the ability to fly?Fly.  I could get from here to there so much quicker.
    
10. Name 1 thing you love about being an adult.Making my own decisions.  I guess.

Your turn!

www.rootsandrings.com

Motivation Monday - Sanity

Want another excuse?

Here I am.  Behind in blogging.  I blame my lack of consistent internet.  And how can one research internet providers when one is using "borrowed" internet?

So here's a run down of what I have to share:

• Easter - better late than never...?
• Twins dedication
• My new blogsite that I've been working on
• Jordyn's senior pictures
• My birthday
• Madera Wine Trail
• Bocce Ball court
• I need to update 101 in 1,001...
• How to capitalize your birthday with retail store (darn right!)
• My running/roller blading/exercise schedule (so you can help hold me accountable)

And after this weekend:

• Paige's graduation
• Tamara's wedding
• visiting Mark and Melissa and kiddos

Ok.  I think that's it for now.  And I think that's plenty. But it will have to wait until later Friday afternoon.  Because tomorrow straight from work I'm driving to Fresno to stay the night with Mark and Melissa, then Friday Paige graduates, then Saturday is Tamara's wedding. 

I'm tired already.

Ten on Tuesday

Look at me!  It's Tuesday!  And I'm doing Ten on Tuesday!  Wowee!

Join the fun!  Visit Cheslea for the questions and more fun answers.

1. If your name was a verb, what would “to Courtney” mean? (Insert your own name though…)Now that's just a silly question!  And my brain is fried to the point that I can't think of anything creative.  :(
2. What myth have you always wanted to prove or bust?
   Ummmm...
3. If you had the ability to get a message out to the entire world, what would you say?
   Jesus loves YOU!
4. I know you’ve answered a similar question before, but it’s been awhile. Please name your current top 10 blogs.
   My google reader is FULL!  Like I follow WAY too many blogs.  Seriously.  Pioneer Woman would be #1, there everything else is #2.
5. Do you have a junk drawer?
   Do I have a junk drawer?  Of course I do.  In fact, I need to clean out the junk drawer, to allow room for more...junk...and stuff.
6. Bottled water or tap?
   Filtered tap.  If it's gonna be bottled water it has got to be a mountain spring water kind.  None of that filtered in LA crap (like Dasani or Aquafina) blah!  I can't drink that stuff!
7. As a kid, did you have a favorite Biblical story?
   I can't remember.  I know a lot of the fabric sticky board stories were all about Jesus' life, I liked those.  Still do, just the big kid versions.  I so wish Veggie Tales were around back then.
8. What is your favorite black and white movie?
   Miracle on 34th Street.  Wasn't that in black & white?  Pretty sure I remember seeing it in black and white...
9. Aside from your engagement/wedding rings, what is your favorite piece of jewelry that you own? Does it have a story behind it?
   I don't wear a lot of jewelry.  I wear a pair of diamond earrings (from an ex), because duh they're diamonds!  And I wear a white gold diamond ring on my right hand that I bought myself.  That's about it.  Sometimes I'll put on a necklace, but not very often.
10. What sports/activities do you hope your kids will be involved in? (Answer for both a boy and a girl)
    Whatever they are interested in playing or have an ability in.  I'll definitely encourage her/him to sign up for/try out for sports, but I'm not going to be one of those "sports are life!" kind of parents.  School and homework will always take priority.

Motivation Monday - Romance

Randoms...

• I have a thing with Thank You cards.  No, I don't buy every pretty pack I see, but every year around Christmas time I buy a new set of 20.  Then I only use about 10.  Then I have 10 left over.  Then at Christmas time I buy a new set of 20.  Only use about 8.  12 left over.  12+10=22.  Do that math over a couple years and I've got a collection of Thank You cards.  Maybe I should just start randomly sending out Thank Yous.  "Thanks for washing my car automatic Chevron car wash".  "Thank you for comment on Facebook friend".  "Thanks for watching my dog all day Mom".
• I want a pair of boots.  Not like boots with the fur (or apple bottom jeans for that matter), or boots with a heel that zips up to thigh.  I want good, comfy cowboy boots.  Something that doesn't scream "I belong on a farm" though.  I haven't had a pair of boots since my 4-H days.  Red Justin lace ups...  Red because they stood out while showing, flashy to catch the judge's eye.  I tried to wear those things until the cut the circulation off my pinky toes.  RIP red boots...  Now to find a new pair...
• I need a new camera.  Ok, maybe my need is clouded and fogged up by my want.  But here's my logic (remember, I can talk myself into or out of anything based on logic, I'm a pro-logicologist - yes, I just made that word up):  My current little Nikon D60 is a good little camera, a prosumer camera is what they call it.  But I'm not a prosumer anymore, I'm moving into the pro category.  Plus, it has a few dead pixels which are very obvious in poor lighting conditions.  Plus, the few lenses I have to go with it, well, for some particular Nikon reason, they don't auto focus with my camera body.  Therefore, with my poor contacts needed vision, 7 times out of 10 they are out of focus...fuzzy, and not in the cool artsy way.  I have 2 reasons that are holding me back from upgrading to what I want...the D700...1) Price.  Remember the Riley fiasco in February?  Ya, there went my camera (and saving for a house) money.  2) The days of automatic exposure will be over.  I'll have to manually set ISO, aperature, and/or shutter speed.  Which I need to learn to do anyways, 'cause all the cool kids are doing it.  Ok, so we'll say it's really only 1 1/2 things holding me back.  Maybe I'll just order myself a birthday present sometime this week...
• Is it sad that I'm more excited about Sex In The City 2 than I am my own birthday?  It's true.  My birthday just never seems to be a big deal.  I could tell you stories, but I won't, I'm trying to move past them.  And I just don't want a birthday this year.  I don't want to turn a year older.  Kaitlin says I'm going throug a midlife crisis.  I agree.  Turning 30 is depressing me!  You have no idea how bad it's depressing me.  But I love me some Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha!  And cosmopolitans!
• So far today I have:  Found the bottom of my work email (personal email is another story).  Found the bottom of my google reader.  Just in time for it to start filling up again...  But I'm finally feeling a little less overwhelmed.

And since every post is better with a picture...  Yes, I was bored one day.  I was playing with my camera.  And I had faux fruit loops.  If you count them, there are 30.  Because that's how old I am today.  Today I am 30 fruit loops old.

Monterey Day

(Son of a gun.  This was supposed to post like two weeks ago!  Here it is, much later than what it originally should have been.  Oops.)

If you maybe follow my photography blog (soon this one and that one will be combined), then you know that the weekend before Easter I went to Monterey and Carmel to take senior pictures for a friend of the family.  We had a fun time.  But while I was taking Katy's pictures, I was also snapping some of what was going on around me.  Hope you enjoy!

The end.

Ten on Tuesday

Once again, I'm a two days late.  And yep, I'm a dollar short too.  I almost decided to not do TonT this week, because I read one of the questions and it had to do with your wedding.  I haven't had a your wedding, so I was just gonna skip the whole thing.  Then today I actually read the rest of the questions and they weren't all about your wedding like I thought they were.  So here I am.  It's Wednesday Thursday.  (This was Wednesday's note, but today is now Thursday: I'm practically falling asleep at my desk, though not from boredom or nothing to do, I'm just downright exhausted.  1 cup of coffee and a mini bag of popped almost burnt popcorn later I'm good to go...kinda.)

1. What was your high school superlative (if you didn’t have one- what would it have been)?
   I didn't have one.  And I honestly have no idea what it would have been.  High school buddies, help me out, what would you have voted me as?
2. What sports did you play in high school?
   Softball freshman year - horrible coach.  Cross Country sophmore year - realized I don't like running.  Track sophomore year - did it because of a boy, bad idea.  So concludes the end of my high school sporting.
3. What was the best part about your wedding (if you’re not married yet, what are you looking forward to)?
   N/A - I look forward to the opportunity to actually get married.
4. It’s your last meal– what Appetizer, Soup, Salad, Entree and Dessert would you choose?
   I love food.  It doesn't have to be fancy.  Nothing in particular is coming to mind.  Just feed me, or don't, it's my last meal so it's not like I'm going to starve to death.
5. What song is your guilty pleasure?
   G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S, yeah.  I honestly change my favorite song as often as I change my underwear.  I like just about all music too.  So, pull a random song out of a hat.
6. What is your favorite professional sports team, and why do you like them?SF Niners and SF Giants.  Although, I'm not a die-hard-gotta-go-to-as-many-games-as-you-can-in-a-season-wear-jerseys-and-paint-your-face kinda fan.  They're my teams, I root for them.
7. What is your favorite reality show and why do you like it?Amazing Race all the way!  The Cowboys totally should have won!  I so want to be a contestant on that show.  I love it because of the traveling, and the experiences they get.  And it just looks down-right fun, and challenging.  That's really about the only reality show I watch.  Oh, besides The Hills, 'cause I gotta get my drama from someone else's lives.
8. How would you classify your home decorating style (modern, classic, french country)?
   Comfy, warm, welcoming.  Not modern, not classic, but also not traditional.  When I buy a house/move I want to go with more of a rustic chic look.  Dunno how I'm gonna pull it off yet though.
9. Pizza- deep dish or thin crust? White sauce or red sauce? What toppings?
   Chicago deep dish style.  Red sauce.  Sausage for sure, don't know what else, more meat maybe.  Or normal crust, red sauce, canadian bacon and pineapple.  Or normal crust, white sauce with chicken, garlic, bell pepper, artichoke hearts.  Want the recipe for the simplest (and healthy in my opinion) pizza to make and is so yummy?  Go here: Boboli Pizza.
10. Favorite weekend getaway within a two hour driving radius?
    Monterey/Carmel. 'Nuff said. 3 hour driving radius? The ranch near SLO.

Motivation Monday - Propaganda

Swamped

Have you ever had the feeling that you're sinking and sinking fast?  I'm busy at work.  I'm busy, maybe even busier, at home.  I've got big things to come in the near future, but first I have a couple deadlines to meet.  And it doesn't look like time will be freeing up for awhile...  *sigh*

So, I'm here.  Just trying to keep my head above water. 

Ten on Tuesday

Yep, it's another Wednesday edition.  Although, I keep thinking today is Thursday... *sigh*

1. Do you prefer markers, crayons, or colored pencils?
   For coloring, crayons.  For writing, markers - extra fine point sharpies - I just don't like how it bleeds through the paper.
2. As a child, how did your parents celebrate your birthday? (Parties, cake, you pick the dinner, etc.)Mom would make my favorite dinner.  I'd eat off the "you are special" plate.  Parties happened up until I turned, like, 13 or so.  Cake always happens.  Mom still makes my favorite meal (our we go out).  And I'm thinkin' this year deserves a party.  Shoot!  I better get planning! 
3. How do you feel about leggings?
   I feel like I jiggle too much when I attempt to wear them.  And yes, when wearing leggings, your top must cover your dairyaire.
4. How do you prefer to follow directions? With a map? Words?
   Maps, verbal, landmarks, based on address, handwritten, etc.  I'm really good with directions.  Honest.
5. What do you eat for snack?
   Apple, yogurt, granola bar, chocolate, water (ok, so you don't actually eat that), candy, etc.
6. Have you ever ordered anything from an infomercial or bought any As Seen on TV products?
   Remeber Nads?  The safe at home waxing stuff?  The creator/founder/advertiser was an Austrialian mom?  Ya, I ordered that.  Tried it.  Then returned it.  Now I'm a bit leery about ordering stuff from infomercials.
7. What’s your favorite thing about summer?
   My favorite thing used to be the break from school.  But that doesn't happen in the real world, unless you're a teacher.  Now...I love the fact that it stays light so late.  BBQing.  Cold, slushy gin & tonics.  All the fruit and veggies in season.  Who am I kidding, I just like the fruit!
8. Do you have a tattoo? What and where is it?Nope.  I don't like needles.  I almost gone one once.  Maybe I still will.  Maybe for my birthday.  Eek!  Better start mentally prepping!
9. Are you good at journaling?Ha!  I like to think I am.  But then I start and about 2 1/2 days later I lose interest, or time, or words.  That's why I blog, right?  It's like journaling, but you can add pictures and the whole world can see/read it.
10. What’s your favorite way to eat a hamburger?
    Well done.  NO mayo, or mustard, maybe ketchup, but BBQ sauce preferred.  Onion, maybe lettuce, NO tomato.  Cheese? Yes, please!  I like my bun toasted and my meat seasoned.  Bacon is a bonus, but pickles stay off.  Ultimate fatty favorite burger:  Bacon Western Cheeseburger from Carl's Jr.  Best burger joint I ever ate at:  Bobcat Bites in Santa Fe, NM.

Now your turn.  Go visit Chelsea at http://www.rootsandrings.com/ and answer the questions yourself!

Motivation Monday - Priorities

5 Ways to Scare a Guy Away

Apparently I'm good at this one without even reading the article.  1)  Breathe.  2)  Versatile (aka, good at many things).  3)  Independent.  4)  Smart/Educated.  5)  ok, I can't think of a 5th for me.  But let's see what e-harmony has to say about what the 5 ways to scare a guy away are...

There may be 50 ways to leave your guy, and there are almost that many ways to send him running.  So let's focus on the 5 that will having him saying, "Check please!"

1. Those Three Little Words
   Timing is everything, even while it's clear that men like to hear that you love them.  So, you may be excited to have finally found someone you're compatible with, try to rein in the desire to blurt out that you've totally fallen for him for at least a couple months.  Say it during the first few dates and his mind will process those three words into one...psycho.  He needs time to process what he's feeling about you, and you both need time for infatuation to settle into something more real.
   My trick, wait until he says it first.  Although it's hard to hold your feelings in, there are other ways to show it without saying it.  When he's ready, he'll tell you.
2. Cracking Knuckles and other Manly Moves
   Even though the days of women casting coy smiles from behind paper fans may be long gone, guys still appreciate a little femininity in his potential love match.  So, while those tricks where you crack open a beer bottle with your teeth and burp the alphabet are impressive, you should think about promoting your gentler qualities in a relationship's early stages.  He's not looking for the return of the Victorian values, but he'd probably like to think he could beat you in a Jager shoot-out or an arm wrestling match.
   Not a problem here.  Sure, I can take shoots with the best of them, but that doesn't mean I do.  Hello, I'm a lady, I have a reputation to keep.
3. Going Bridal
   Ok, so we know that one day you'd like to get married, but there's an order to these things, and subscribing to the bride and wedding magazines and studying diamond cuts before you've even met a guy is classic carat-before-horse territory.  When he turns up at your place and sees a bookshelf full of dog-eared bridal magazines and your computer's homepage set to The Knot, he's likely to suddenly get very busy at work.  Wanting to get married to a man you love is one thing, trying to fit a mysterious anybody into your wedding-day fantasy is another.
   The stack of magazines I do have, purchased during my college days when I actually thought "my big day" would be soon there after, are hidden in a closet.  :)
4. Hey Kids, Meet your New Daddy
   In our fractured world men know that the chances of meeting and falling for a single mom are significant.  For many it's an instant no-no, and if that's your situation it's best to be up front.  However, for those men that aren't put off by the first mention of Junior, they'll still be walking into the situation one tentative step at a time, and telling him too early what a great daddy he's going to make your kids will make him break out in a cold sweat.  So while ultimately you're a package deal, and it's important that he knows that, let him get to know you first.  Once you feel that your relationship has had a chance to establish itself, then gently introduce the little one(s).  Just remember, initially he's not going to be as in love with them as you are, so give him a chance to establish a relationship with them too.
   Does this count with a dog?  "New Dude, this is my dog, she's like my daughter.  I just spent way too many zero's on her to keep her healthy and alive.  By the way, if she likes you, you've passed the test."
5. My Ex was a Psycho/My Ex was the Greatest
   We get it, you have an ex-boyfriend...or five or more.  Guys know this, but there are telltale signs when this could be a problem for us.  First is when you go all glassy-eyed at the mention of his name, worse if the subject comes up after we noticed it tattooed on your wrist.  He may have been a master surgeon with rock-solid abs and a second home in Hawaii, but the new guy would rather not know too much about it if it's all the same with you, as they know we'll never compare.  They also understand that the ex may have tormented you emotionally/slept with your sister/kidnapped your dog, but that just makes the new guy wonder one thing:  why'd you go out with him for so long?  It doesn't speak highly of your selection process, and ergo why you've chosen the new dude.  Everyone has a past, let's just keep it there.
   It's best to just keep mum about exes.  If it ended badly, you don't want to resurface any harsh feelings.  Or visa versa, new guy doesn't want to live in the shadows of ex perfect guy.

Want more information, visit e-harmony's article.

*To my Asian reader who keeps trying to leave a comment - I don't know what your comment says, so I am not publishing it.  If you would like it published, please comment in English.  Otherwise I will continue to assume it is spam.  Thank you.

Ten on Tuesday

Ok, let's do this!  It's Ten on Tuesday time everybody!  Join in the fun.  Visit Chelsea over at Roots and Rings and play along!

1. Think back a decade, do you remember what your first cellphone was? Was it as cool as Zack Morris’s phone?
   My first cell phone...it was the size of 1/2 a brick.  I got my mom's hand-me-down, it was my freshman year of college.  That phone didn't last long.  I upgraded to the Nokia.  Do you remember the Nokia?  The same phone that everyone had?  The one that you could change the face plate?  Yeah, that one. 
2. What is the first children’s book you remember being read to you?
   I have no idea.  I was young.  My memory has failed me.
3. What was your first car? Did you love it or hate it? My first vehicle was my dad's old Chevy Silverado (or was it the Sierra?), it was a truck.  My parents decided that me driving a truck probably wasn't a wise decision...gas guzzler.  So they got me a '88 (I think...) hatchback Civic.  Not my favorite.  1)  no radio.  2)  no A/C.  3)  2 door.  Let's just say, my first quarter at Cal Poly, in the summer while coming home just about every weekend, was a hot summer.  Junior (or was it late sophomore?) year of college mom and dad upgraded me to a '92 4 door accord, with A/C and a cassette player.  Fall after graduating, the civic went to car heaven, therefore my brother got the next in line, being my accord, and I had to be a big girl and buy a car.  Now I drive a Corolla with 4 doors, A/C, and a CD player!  Big time upgrade.
4. Who was your hero growing up?
   I don't know if I had a hero.  Maybe Barbie.  Or Jem.  Shera?  I have no idea.
5. Think back to your first kiss. Was it everything you dreamed of?
   Ah, no.
6. What was your first BAD hairstyle choice? (Extra points for embarrassing photos)
   I'd love to show you pictures.  And maybe somewhere on here I have one.  I don't know what my first BAD haircut was, but I can tell you my WORST haircut.  I thought, sure, I can have short hair, like really short.  Well, this wavey haired broad cannot have really short hair.  Let's just say there aren't many pictures documenting that era of my life.
7. What was your first realistic dream? (One where you had to think “Oh dang, was that a dream?”)
   Oh my goodness, another think back to forever ago question.  ???  Remember me, I have a bad memory.
8. What was the first phobia you remember developing?
   Heights.  I'm scared poopless of heights.  Flying, no problem.  Climbing a ladder, problem.
9. Which character on Sesame Street do you most identify with?
   I don't think I ever really thought about that, nor have I since.
10. What was the hardest goal you ever accomplished?
    Have yet to accomplish it.  Or at least it being the hardest goal on my "to do goal list".  Mostly because it's somewhat out of my control.

Motivation Monday - Sacrifice

Ten on Tuesday

Yea!  It's Ten on Tuesday.  And this week my questions were chosen!  Of course, it doesn't help that I sent Chelsea about 53 questions.  So basically I took care of a month of questions for her.  You're welcome Chelsea.  :)

1. What two cities should be moved closer together?
   I think that it would be great if two totally diffenent climate cities were closer together, like Denver (mountain) and Kona (beach), or New York (big city) and Tuscany (exotic country).  Anywhere could be moved closer to Hilmar and I'd be a happy camper!
2. What was the first plane ride you took? When I was in 5th grade my grammy took me to Washington DC to tour the city and the surround area/history.  The plan was that she would take each grandchild on a trip like that when they reached 5th grade.  Sadly, and fortunately, I was the only one that benefited.  But Fresno -> Salt Lake City -> Washington DC and back was my first plane ride.  I love flying!
3. What continent would you most like to visit? Europe.  The entire continent.  All at once (over a period of many months) or multiple trips.  It doesn't matter to me.  But that is where I'd like to go.  All over Europe.  Someday, maybe that dream will come true.  You know, when I finally invent the tree that grows money.
4. What’s your favorite place to window-shop?
   Most of my shopping is window shopping.  When it comes to non-necessity items I end up with big time buyers remorse.  So I tend to not buy something right away, but if it's still a want/need some time later then I make the purchase.  I also see things and "oh I have to have it!", then I remember that I live in a 900 some square foot house without a lot of storage.  That especially happens at places like Pottery Barn and Anthropology.  Darn practicality!
5. What’s the least fun you’ve ever had at a place specifically tailored for fun?Haha.  Can I say Disney World?  Don't shoot me.  I blame it on the person I was with.  I'm sure Disney World is oodles of fun, but I just wasn't feelin' it when I went to Epcot and the Magic Kingdom (Disneyland is better!).  I'm willing to give the giant land of mouse another shot though.
6. You’re stuck on an island with plenty of food, a companion, and a relatively stress-free lifestyle. What do you say when the rescue ship comes?
   Although stress-free seems like the way to be, I thrive on at least a little stress.  So I'd decompress some, grab a few coconuts and my buddy and board the ship back to the good life.
7. Which day of the week do you look forward to most?
   Fridays after 4pm.  Computer is shutting down, grab my purse, and run for the door never to look back...  From there my time is mine again.  No more "yes sir" and "I'll get right on it".  At least til Monday...
8. What’s your favorite place to enjoy the great outdoors?
   My aunt's ranch in Santa Margarita.  It's peaceful.  It's beautiful.  It's like a home away from home.  The ocean is a 20 minute drive.  Further into the rugged hill is a 15 minute drive.  It's the place my mom grew up.  And the place I look forward to someday taking my kids to visit and enjoy.  It's a place that the minute you drive up you instantly relax. 
9. What’s on your “to do” list this summer?
   Maybe a road trip to the Seattle/British Columbia area.  And work.  Because, unfortunately, money still has to be made so work has to happen. 
10. Which natural disaster freaks you out the most?
    Definitely tornados and hurricanes.  No thank you to massive forces of air swirling all around me and picking up things as it goes throwing it who knows where.  I'll take my little foot massage earthquakes any day.

http://www.rootsandrings.com/

Motivation Monday - Quality

Dating Dilemma

Are you the perfect match - except for one not-so-little thing...?  The issue here is not about trying to find someone perfect - and a good thing, since there's no such person on the face of the earth.  The issue is about you being clear about what shortcomings in a partner you can live with and which you can't.

You're dating someone who is right in so many ways, but wrong in one significant way.  Perhaps it's a personal habit that drives you crazy:  total lack of manners at mealtime or constant interruptions while you're trying to talk.  It could be a character issue that signals trouble:  drinking too much but shrugs it off as "no big deal" or pouting and sulking to get their way.  Whatever it is, you wonder if this "fatal flaw" might kill the relationship.  What should you do?  Well, maybe you should ask yourself these questions...

Is this a learned behavior that can change or a personality trait that probably won't?
Everyone has a bad habit or two that can be beat with willpower, accountability, and encouragement.  But relatively minor irritations are in a different category than ingrained personality traits, which are usually difficult (and sometimes impossible) to change.  Clearly identify which types of issues you're dealing with - one that's possible to modify or one that will likely stay the same.

Does this shortcoming appear on your must-have or can't-stand lists?
If you have carefully identified the ten things you can't live with and the ten things you can't live without, then these lists should serve as a screening process.  And if your partner's flaw shows up, this could be a clear signal that this person isn't right for you.  That may sound cold hearted, but what good are your must-haves and can't-stand lists if nonnegotiable items become negotiable?  What's more, we can only imagin the number of divorces or troubled marriages that involve people who thought, "This one thing really bothers me, but it'll go away."

Is this a fault you are willing to live with?
Making plans for a long-term relationship with someone you assume will change is a recipe for trouble.  Sure, people grow and improve, but you should not base your future happiness on the assumption that your partner will be able to (or want to) change enough to satisfy your wishes.  Of course, you may ultimately decide that you can live with your partner's fault, but in doing so you're making a deliberate, conscious choice.

So are you going to do?  Do you already have your 10 can't-stand and 10 must-have lists?

This information is brought to you by eharmony.