1. Faith is the ability to not panic.
2. If you worry, you didn't pray. If you prayed, don't worry.
3. As a child of God, prayer is kind of like calling home every day.
4. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.
5.When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so He can untangle the knot.
6. Do the math. Count your blessings.
7. God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.
8. Dear God: I have a problem. It's me.
9. Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.
10. Laugh every day, it's like inner jogging.
11. The most important things in your home are the people.
12. Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional.
13. There is no key to happiness. The door is always open. Come on in.
14. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.
15. He who dies with the most toys is still dead.
16. We do not remember days, but moments. Life moves too fast, so enjoy your precious moments.
17. Nothing is real to you until you experience it, otherwise it's just hearsay.
18. It's all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just be sure to flush when you are done.
19. Surviving and living your life successfully requires courage. The goals and dreams you're seeking require courage and risk-taking. Learn from the turtle, it only makes progress when it sticks out its neck.
20. Be more concerned with your character than your reputation. Your character is what you really are, whereas your reputation is merely what others think you are.
No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting. Leave gentle fingerprints on the soul of another for the angels to read. I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it, I want to have lived the width of it as well. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. Happy moments, praise God. Difficult moments, seek God. Quiet moments, worship God. Painful moments, trust God. Every moment, thank God.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Birthday!
Today is my brother's 23rd birthday! There are 4 in between us, I'm older (do the math and you can figure out how old I am). Everybody wish Chris a very happy birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO!
Love, Your Sista
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO!
Love, Your Sista
Sunday, March 11, 2007
How am I at fault?
How is one to know then they are supposed to defend someone or not? I just don't get it. Do you defend a friend when they aren't being talked about? How? Do you randomly bring them up in a conversation? Why? But what's irritating is that that person doesn't even care about the situation. I guess you have to know the situation to fully understand it. And I'm not going to rehash it because frankly I'm over it and have moved on. The past is in the past.
Those of you reading right now that know me, know that I am not a confrontational person. I avoid it at all costs. I avoid and ignore, if it directly involves me. I'll stew on it for awhile and get over it. That is how I deal with things. If I have that big of a problem with something, then (after some liquid courage) will I confront someone on something, but very rarely does that happen. So why would it be expected of me to automatically go outside my comfort area?
So for future, if you have something you want to take up with me and complain to me about myself please keep these points in mind:
1. Call, visit, or e-mail me. Do not try to converse with me regarding an issue via text messaging. I am not a fast texter, which ends up getting me more frustrated.
2. When you decide come to me about my faults (whatever they may be), don't forget you have your own. I'm most likely aware of them, and I may even have a problem with them. But (see above) I avoid and move on.
3. Remember that we are not the same person and handle things differently. I am a behind the scenes person while you may be a center stage, in your face person.
4. Do not choose that "special time of the month" to decided to yell at me for my errors in life. Let the hormonal period pass, then come to me.
That's all I got. Just had to get that out there and off my chest.
Those of you reading right now that know me, know that I am not a confrontational person. I avoid it at all costs. I avoid and ignore, if it directly involves me. I'll stew on it for awhile and get over it. That is how I deal with things. If I have that big of a problem with something, then (after some liquid courage) will I confront someone on something, but very rarely does that happen. So why would it be expected of me to automatically go outside my comfort area?
So for future, if you have something you want to take up with me and complain to me about myself please keep these points in mind:
1. Call, visit, or e-mail me. Do not try to converse with me regarding an issue via text messaging. I am not a fast texter, which ends up getting me more frustrated.
2. When you decide come to me about my faults (whatever they may be), don't forget you have your own. I'm most likely aware of them, and I may even have a problem with them. But (see above) I avoid and move on.
3. Remember that we are not the same person and handle things differently. I am a behind the scenes person while you may be a center stage, in your face person.
4. Do not choose that "special time of the month" to decided to yell at me for my errors in life. Let the hormonal period pass, then come to me.
That's all I got. Just had to get that out there and off my chest.
Friday, March 9, 2007
Words to Live By: Comforter
com-fort-er, noun:
1. one who gives strength and hope.
2. one who eases grief or trouble.
3. one who administers consolation.
4. Biblical: God's Spirit
5. Personal: God's Spirit who dwells in you.
The Comforter, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send in My name, He shall teach you all things and bring all things to your remembrance, whatever I have said to you.
-John 14:26
The Lord does comfort. In the midst of my sadness and turmoil, I feel comforted by God's loving embrace. I can sit in the corner and pity myself, but I still for the presence of my Father surrounding me. Not only does the Lord comfort me, but He puts people in life that also comfort me in ways that he cannot; like a physical hug, and spoken loving encouraging words. I praise and thank God for being the ultimate Comforter of mankind and of me.
O my Comforter in sorrow.
-Jeremiah 8:18
1. one who gives strength and hope.
2. one who eases grief or trouble.
3. one who administers consolation.
4. Biblical: God's Spirit
5. Personal: God's Spirit who dwells in you.
The Comforter, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send in My name, He shall teach you all things and bring all things to your remembrance, whatever I have said to you.
-John 14:26
The Lord does comfort. In the midst of my sadness and turmoil, I feel comforted by God's loving embrace. I can sit in the corner and pity myself, but I still for the presence of my Father surrounding me. Not only does the Lord comfort me, but He puts people in life that also comfort me in ways that he cannot; like a physical hug, and spoken loving encouraging words. I praise and thank God for being the ultimate Comforter of mankind and of me.
O my Comforter in sorrow.
-Jeremiah 8:18
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Who likes a self photo?
Yep, I've got more. I really like this picture of me. And for me to actually say that is big! I was getting ready to leave to go to Monument.
This past Saturday before I went to the Guys' House for BBQ and a movie. I thought I looked good!
This past Saturday before I went to the Guys' House for BBQ and a movie. I thought I looked good!
Changing of the Job Status
For those of you who know me, you know my current job status. But for those of you who don't, let me give you brief recap:
I really don't like my current job. I'm not going to say who it is with, but they are the world's largest single site cheese manufacturer. I've disliked it really since I started there, but I'm such a pushover I stuck with it. Well, I don't know if pushover is really the word, maybe I was just determined to make it work. After a year and a half my determination has not worked. So I've moderately seeking other employment that has much more potential to be either a) what I truly want to do with my life, my passion which is event planning, or b) something that I enjoy doing that pays decently with room for advancement within the company. I thought that my current employer would be a great place to advance, but after 3 failed attempts it is clearly not working. Mind you, these are failed attempts where it would come down to me vs. "someone else", and "someone else" had slightly an edge over me. My mom kept telling me that "God has a plan for you either there, or for you to wait there while something else becomes available somewhere."
This brings us up to December. I was mindlessly searching online for positions in the area that were of interest of me and I came across one. Angels sang a little in my head, I had found my dream position. a) a government job with the City of Modesto as their Events Coordinator (see above dream job), b) pays extremely well, like so well I could someday in the fairly near future be able to purchase a house, and c) God's timing, found position online on a Tuesday, it closes the next Monday filled out application and updated resume Wednesday, had a friend proof it Thursday morning before she flew out of the state in the afternoon, had it in the mail that same afternoon. God is great! A couple weeks go by and I receive a notice that I have an interview a couple weeks later. Panel interview happen. A little over a week later I receive a notice on how I scored in the interview and that IF I make it to round 2 I'll hear later. God is definitely testing patience by this point. Another week plus go by and I find out that I have a written exam on Valentine's Day. Praise the Lord I made it to round 2! The test happens(1 hour, 2 essay questions), with the help of the Holy Spirit I remember incidences that have happened to me in past experiences that helped me with the answers to the exam, feeling much more confident than I did when I started it. That was 3 weeks ago and I haven't heard anything. Of the 5 of us that took the test they will narrow it down to 3 for another round of interviews, this time with the Director of Parks and Rec. I've called a few times to find out what the status is, they are unable to give me information, not out of confidentiality, but out of they haven't done anything "We have a lot going on with other open recruitments" as I was told. God continues to test patience, praise God for His grace.
Which leads us to present day... A long time friend and neighbor of mine was working with my part time since moving home from Chicago. She was also looking for other employment and had a few leads. But she had a "backup plan", which was with a good family friend of hers at a very well known chicken manufacturer. Being that she was offered a job with her first choice she declined her "backup". BUT, I also work with her sister and best friend (she's just in a different department of the company) who then told me that if I was interested in the "backup plan" she's pass my info on to the family friend. I was contacted the next day, e-mailed my resume, and now have an interview with this company this coming Monday. Now, this position doesn't pay as well as the City job, but it pays better than what I'm currently making (really, it's not hard to beat). And within 6 months I'd be advanced a step or two to a Jr. Buyer from Purchasing Clerk D. The HR recruiter is very nice on the phone and seems excited to interview me. I think that I'm more experienced than what they originally intended the position to be, but she's excited that I have a college degree as that was a desired qualification.
So now, I ask for prayer and continued patience. I really prefer the job with the City, but I can't pass up opportunities for other positions in the meantime in case it doesn't happen with the City. But I don't know what I'll do if I have to accept before knowing for sure with the City. So maybe pray also that God will light a fire under the City's butt to get a move on with the position I'm applying for. Oh, I forgot to mention that the City wanted the position filled by the end of February... That's I'll I've got for you. Please remember me in your prayers. If you have any advice for me please pass it on. Thanks!
I really don't like my current job. I'm not going to say who it is with, but they are the world's largest single site cheese manufacturer. I've disliked it really since I started there, but I'm such a pushover I stuck with it. Well, I don't know if pushover is really the word, maybe I was just determined to make it work. After a year and a half my determination has not worked. So I've moderately seeking other employment that has much more potential to be either a) what I truly want to do with my life, my passion which is event planning, or b) something that I enjoy doing that pays decently with room for advancement within the company. I thought that my current employer would be a great place to advance, but after 3 failed attempts it is clearly not working. Mind you, these are failed attempts where it would come down to me vs. "someone else", and "someone else" had slightly an edge over me. My mom kept telling me that "God has a plan for you either there, or for you to wait there while something else becomes available somewhere."
This brings us up to December. I was mindlessly searching online for positions in the area that were of interest of me and I came across one. Angels sang a little in my head, I had found my dream position. a) a government job with the City of Modesto as their Events Coordinator (see above dream job), b) pays extremely well, like so well I could someday in the fairly near future be able to purchase a house, and c) God's timing, found position online on a Tuesday, it closes the next Monday filled out application and updated resume Wednesday, had a friend proof it Thursday morning before she flew out of the state in the afternoon, had it in the mail that same afternoon. God is great! A couple weeks go by and I receive a notice that I have an interview a couple weeks later. Panel interview happen. A little over a week later I receive a notice on how I scored in the interview and that IF I make it to round 2 I'll hear later. God is definitely testing patience by this point. Another week plus go by and I find out that I have a written exam on Valentine's Day. Praise the Lord I made it to round 2! The test happens(1 hour, 2 essay questions), with the help of the Holy Spirit I remember incidences that have happened to me in past experiences that helped me with the answers to the exam, feeling much more confident than I did when I started it. That was 3 weeks ago and I haven't heard anything. Of the 5 of us that took the test they will narrow it down to 3 for another round of interviews, this time with the Director of Parks and Rec. I've called a few times to find out what the status is, they are unable to give me information, not out of confidentiality, but out of they haven't done anything "We have a lot going on with other open recruitments" as I was told. God continues to test patience, praise God for His grace.
Which leads us to present day... A long time friend and neighbor of mine was working with my part time since moving home from Chicago. She was also looking for other employment and had a few leads. But she had a "backup plan", which was with a good family friend of hers at a very well known chicken manufacturer. Being that she was offered a job with her first choice she declined her "backup". BUT, I also work with her sister and best friend (she's just in a different department of the company) who then told me that if I was interested in the "backup plan" she's pass my info on to the family friend. I was contacted the next day, e-mailed my resume, and now have an interview with this company this coming Monday. Now, this position doesn't pay as well as the City job, but it pays better than what I'm currently making (really, it's not hard to beat). And within 6 months I'd be advanced a step or two to a Jr. Buyer from Purchasing Clerk D. The HR recruiter is very nice on the phone and seems excited to interview me. I think that I'm more experienced than what they originally intended the position to be, but she's excited that I have a college degree as that was a desired qualification.
So now, I ask for prayer and continued patience. I really prefer the job with the City, but I can't pass up opportunities for other positions in the meantime in case it doesn't happen with the City. But I don't know what I'll do if I have to accept before knowing for sure with the City. So maybe pray also that God will light a fire under the City's butt to get a move on with the position I'm applying for. Oh, I forgot to mention that the City wanted the position filled by the end of February... That's I'll I've got for you. Please remember me in your prayers. If you have any advice for me please pass it on. Thanks!
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Why can't I just be happy?
I feel not like myself lately. And I don't like it. And I don't know what's wrong with me. Before when I was not happy (for days not weeks) I would at least felt content. Now I don't even feel content. I am easily irritated, bitter and annoyed, by stupid things. I hate feeling this way because I know that my spiritual defenses are weakened, and the devil works when people are weak. I just pray that God will help me through this and keep me strong. Please pray for me as well...
Sunday, March 4, 2007
Traveling to Washington DC
So in just a little over a month I'll be traveling to Washington DC with a friend to visit a college roommate and her family. I'll be there for about 5 days. I want to see as much as I can while I'm there, touristy and hidden spots. Send me a comment of places that are must see, as well as things that can be missed. Thanks!
Self Photo Time...
Those of you who know me, know that I take self photos all the time. You know, the kind where you hold the camera out in front of yourself and snap a picture, sometimes you can see part of your arm. Yep, those are the ones. Well, I take them quite often. So, every now and then I think I'll post a picture, of myself (maybe with someone else) taken by myself.
Valentine's Day, driving (yes, the vehicle was moving while I took the picture) to Chelsea's house for a Chocolate Party...
Dinner at Torii Japanese restaurant for Amanda's birthday...
Valentine's Day, driving (yes, the vehicle was moving while I took the picture) to Chelsea's house for a Chocolate Party...
Dinner at Torii Japanese restaurant for Amanda's birthday...
Friday, March 2, 2007
Knee Mail
Rules from God
1. Wake Up! Decide to have a good day. "Today is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalms 118:24
2. Dress Up! The best way to dress up is to put on a smile. A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks. "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at outward appearance; but the Lord looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7
3. Shut Up! Say nice things and learn to listen. God gave us two ears and one mouth, so He must have meant for us to do twice as much listening as talking. "He who guards his lips guards his soul." Proverbs 13:3
4. Stand Up! For what you believe in. Stand for something or you will fall for anything. "Let us not be weary in doing good; for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good..." Galatians 6:9-10
5. Look Up! To the Lord. "I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
6. Reach Up! For something higher. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path." Proverbs 3:5-6
7. Lift Up! Your prayers. "Do not worry about everything; instead pray about everything." Philippians 4:6
God answers knee-mail.
1. Wake Up! Decide to have a good day. "Today is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalms 118:24
2. Dress Up! The best way to dress up is to put on a smile. A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks. "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at outward appearance; but the Lord looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7
3. Shut Up! Say nice things and learn to listen. God gave us two ears and one mouth, so He must have meant for us to do twice as much listening as talking. "He who guards his lips guards his soul." Proverbs 13:3
4. Stand Up! For what you believe in. Stand for something or you will fall for anything. "Let us not be weary in doing good; for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good..." Galatians 6:9-10
5. Look Up! To the Lord. "I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
6. Reach Up! For something higher. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path." Proverbs 3:5-6
7. Lift Up! Your prayers. "Do not worry about everything; instead pray about everything." Philippians 4:6
God answers knee-mail.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
End of February Results
So I've made it through February. Two months of 2007 are gone. So let me give you a little update on how my New Month Resolutions are going:
1. Not step foot in Target for the WHOLE month - Success is mine! I did not step foot in a Target store ALL MONTH. And with that, my checking account stayed a little fuller.
2. Lose 5 pounds. Last month I lost 6.4. So this is totally doable - This was not a success. But I did lose, just now 5 pounds. That's ok though, I've got next month to make up for it.
3. Take a day trip somewhere - The going somewhere didn't happen this month, unless you count Modesto... Yea, I didn't think so.
4. Not mope on the dreaded Valentine's Day because I don't have a Valentine - Really can't judge how this one went. I spent the dreaded holiday with friends, so that was great.
5. Take my mom out to lunch - Mom and I are busy. I did make her dinner. Does that count?
6. Heavily pursue finding a new job - Haven't hurt from the City of Modesto since the written exam. Praying I hear from them soon, very soon.
7. Actively seek God in my day to day life worshiping Him and bring Him glory - This is one of those things that I will always strive to succeed at. I will always feel I'm not reaching God's expectations, but that is only the reason to seek harder. I have been challenged though the weekly Bible study that I am in and with Spiritual Formation Sunday mornings. Always a work in progress.
Update as of 2/28/07.
1. Not step foot in Target for the WHOLE month - Success is mine! I did not step foot in a Target store ALL MONTH. And with that, my checking account stayed a little fuller.
2. Lose 5 pounds. Last month I lost 6.4. So this is totally doable - This was not a success. But I did lose, just now 5 pounds. That's ok though, I've got next month to make up for it.
3. Take a day trip somewhere - The going somewhere didn't happen this month, unless you count Modesto... Yea, I didn't think so.
4. Not mope on the dreaded Valentine's Day because I don't have a Valentine - Really can't judge how this one went. I spent the dreaded holiday with friends, so that was great.
5. Take my mom out to lunch - Mom and I are busy. I did make her dinner. Does that count?
6. Heavily pursue finding a new job - Haven't hurt from the City of Modesto since the written exam. Praying I hear from them soon, very soon.
7. Actively seek God in my day to day life worshiping Him and bring Him glory - This is one of those things that I will always strive to succeed at. I will always feel I'm not reaching God's expectations, but that is only the reason to seek harder. I have been challenged though the weekly Bible study that I am in and with Spiritual Formation Sunday mornings. Always a work in progress.
Update as of 2/28/07.
New Month Resolutions
My New Month Resolutions for March are:
1. Actively seek God in my day to day life, worshiping Him and bring Him glory.
2. No myspace. You still want to leave me a comment or message you can at my myspace page, I just won't be checking them until April 1st. And everyone can hold me accountable since it shows last login date on my profile.
3. No makeup. Yes, I'll still be wearing it, I just won't be purchasing it for the month. I have a ton of makeup, and it's time to reduce inventory.
4. Lose 5 pounds. Same as last month and the next 9 months of the year. Time to get serious, June is only 3 months away.
5. Exercise. I don't have to belong to a gym to do this. I am going to exercise in some form or another at least 3 times a week.
6. Go somewhere out of the area. I live so close to a lot, time to experience and enjoy it.
7. Target is back in the pictures, just in moderation. Time to shop only by a list of needs. And no, that does not mean that I'll be making the list as I shop. :)
8. Heavily pursue finding a new job.
And for the Lent season I have given up soda.
1. Actively seek God in my day to day life, worshiping Him and bring Him glory.
2. No myspace. You still want to leave me a comment or message you can at my myspace page, I just won't be checking them until April 1st. And everyone can hold me accountable since it shows last login date on my profile.
3. No makeup. Yes, I'll still be wearing it, I just won't be purchasing it for the month. I have a ton of makeup, and it's time to reduce inventory.
4. Lose 5 pounds. Same as last month and the next 9 months of the year. Time to get serious, June is only 3 months away.
5. Exercise. I don't have to belong to a gym to do this. I am going to exercise in some form or another at least 3 times a week.
6. Go somewhere out of the area. I live so close to a lot, time to experience and enjoy it.
7. Target is back in the pictures, just in moderation. Time to shop only by a list of needs. And no, that does not mean that I'll be making the list as I shop. :)
8. Heavily pursue finding a new job.
And for the Lent season I have given up soda.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Why is it so hard to memorize certain things?
But it's easy to memorize other things. Why is that? What I mean is that I can memorize directions to a location, near or far by hearing it once. Maybe I need to write it down, but I hardly refer to the written directions. But yet when it comes to memorizing Bible verses, very important in the Christian life, I can't. Well, I can, it just takes me a LONG TIME. What is that?
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Odd with own feelings...
Have you ever just felt not so right in your own skin? You don't know how you feel really? Just not right. Yea, well, that's how I'm feeling right now. And I don't know why which really irritates me. I'm not happy where I'm working. I'm not where I am in life that I thought I would have been. I feel slightly uncomfortable around some friends. I feel like I just can't do anything right no matter how hard I try. Let me tell you why I am feeling the way I'm feeling, maybe...
-I hate my job. There aren't many things in life that I hate, strongly dislike maybe. Hate is a very strong word that I (haha) hate to use. But I can truly say that I hate my job and everything about it. There have been many times, too many to count, where I almost grabbed my stuff and walked out. That's how miserable I am. I am currently in the interview process with a local City for their Events Coordinator. It is a step in the right direction towards my dream job/career. I like parties and I like planning, so why not combine the two and it a career. I'm not a very patient person and the waiting process for this job is definitely testing my patience. I keep telling my self and other, "If it's in God's plan for my life then so be it. I'm trying to live the life God has planned for me." And I do mean it, but part of me doesn't. I want things my way and I want them that way now. I'm human, it's human nature. But this position would be a huge answer to many prayers. And I truly pray that this is in God's will for me. The sooner I can get out of my current work situation the better. (If you know of anyone that is hiring in the Modesto/Turlock area, please pass the information on to me. Please keep me in mind if you hear of anything.)
-I'm lonely for 2 reasons.
1. I long for my soul mate. I don't know what God has in store for me and my romantic future, but I sure have a desire to be married and have children. When will this all happen? I don't know. Who will it be with? I don't know. I don't know if I already know the guy or have yet to meet him. What can I do to speed up the process? Besides not sitting at home all day long, nothing. It's all up to God. It's His plan that I'm (trying) patiently waiting on. (Anyone know of any good way to meet a good Christian guy?)
2. Friends. Yes, I have friends. But here's my situation. My best friend is practically engaged. I'm happy for her. But this level of commitment with someone involves a lot of time. It's been over a month since we've hung out, gotten coffee, dinner, ice cream. I do talk to her, but it's not the same. Although, this is the friend that right now can tell I'm in a really unhappy state and is concerned for me and my well being.
My other really good friend seems to not trust me completely. Not trust like I'm gonna go spread rumors, but not trust like not telling me things regardless of what you think I'll say. Maybe I'm just a nosy person, but why as a friend would you not tell me about a coffee date. Bring it up then say I wasn't going to say anything. I feel slightly betrayed, without being betrayed.
Then all my other friends, well, they're just all being odd right now. Maybe it's not them, but it's me. Singles moving in with married couples, marrieds wanting singles to move in with them, starting new relationships with a guy, another almost engaged friend, guys that I just can't quite figure out how to be friends with, etc. What do I do? I'm so at a loss.
-Current living situation. Well, no sugar coating it, I live with my parents, in a landing (you know that little "livable" area at the top of the stairs). I'm almost 27 and I'm living with my parents. I know I'm not the only one. But why? I'm not a fan of it. Unfortunately, due to the job I hate, I don't make enough to support myself living on my own will paying off debts. So here I am. On my bed in my 3 walled landing complaining about it. What am I trying to do about it? Well, for one find a new job (see above). This way I could afford to rent, hopefully buy, new living accommodation.
- I'm sick! Yes, I have a standard cold. The second one of the year. I'm a sniffly, stuffy, tired, yellow snot mess. At least it's a cold and not the flu or a worse virus.
So what am I going to do about it all:
1. Pray
2. Seriously look AND apply for new job
3. Love on friends (I'm a lover not a fighter or confronter)
4. Soul mate...???
5. Pray
6. Save money. New job pay more. Get roommates.
7. Take throat coat and drugs and herbal junk.
8. Oh, and pray some more.
Hopefully with time this "funk" will pass. Please pray for me and my well being. Because I just don't feel well. And no, it's not "that time of the month" :)
-I hate my job. There aren't many things in life that I hate, strongly dislike maybe. Hate is a very strong word that I (haha) hate to use. But I can truly say that I hate my job and everything about it. There have been many times, too many to count, where I almost grabbed my stuff and walked out. That's how miserable I am. I am currently in the interview process with a local City for their Events Coordinator. It is a step in the right direction towards my dream job/career. I like parties and I like planning, so why not combine the two and it a career. I'm not a very patient person and the waiting process for this job is definitely testing my patience. I keep telling my self and other, "If it's in God's plan for my life then so be it. I'm trying to live the life God has planned for me." And I do mean it, but part of me doesn't. I want things my way and I want them that way now. I'm human, it's human nature. But this position would be a huge answer to many prayers. And I truly pray that this is in God's will for me. The sooner I can get out of my current work situation the better. (If you know of anyone that is hiring in the Modesto/Turlock area, please pass the information on to me. Please keep me in mind if you hear of anything.)
-I'm lonely for 2 reasons.
1. I long for my soul mate. I don't know what God has in store for me and my romantic future, but I sure have a desire to be married and have children. When will this all happen? I don't know. Who will it be with? I don't know. I don't know if I already know the guy or have yet to meet him. What can I do to speed up the process? Besides not sitting at home all day long, nothing. It's all up to God. It's His plan that I'm (trying) patiently waiting on. (Anyone know of any good way to meet a good Christian guy?)
2. Friends. Yes, I have friends. But here's my situation. My best friend is practically engaged. I'm happy for her. But this level of commitment with someone involves a lot of time. It's been over a month since we've hung out, gotten coffee, dinner, ice cream. I do talk to her, but it's not the same. Although, this is the friend that right now can tell I'm in a really unhappy state and is concerned for me and my well being.
My other really good friend seems to not trust me completely. Not trust like I'm gonna go spread rumors, but not trust like not telling me things regardless of what you think I'll say. Maybe I'm just a nosy person, but why as a friend would you not tell me about a coffee date. Bring it up then say I wasn't going to say anything. I feel slightly betrayed, without being betrayed.
Then all my other friends, well, they're just all being odd right now. Maybe it's not them, but it's me. Singles moving in with married couples, marrieds wanting singles to move in with them, starting new relationships with a guy, another almost engaged friend, guys that I just can't quite figure out how to be friends with, etc. What do I do? I'm so at a loss.
-Current living situation. Well, no sugar coating it, I live with my parents, in a landing (you know that little "livable" area at the top of the stairs). I'm almost 27 and I'm living with my parents. I know I'm not the only one. But why? I'm not a fan of it. Unfortunately, due to the job I hate, I don't make enough to support myself living on my own will paying off debts. So here I am. On my bed in my 3 walled landing complaining about it. What am I trying to do about it? Well, for one find a new job (see above). This way I could afford to rent, hopefully buy, new living accommodation.
- I'm sick! Yes, I have a standard cold. The second one of the year. I'm a sniffly, stuffy, tired, yellow snot mess. At least it's a cold and not the flu or a worse virus.
So what am I going to do about it all:
1. Pray
2. Seriously look AND apply for new job
3. Love on friends (I'm a lover not a fighter or confronter)
4. Soul mate...???
5. Pray
6. Save money. New job pay more. Get roommates.
7. Take throat coat and drugs and herbal junk.
8. Oh, and pray some more.
Hopefully with time this "funk" will pass. Please pray for me and my well being. Because I just don't feel well. And no, it's not "that time of the month" :)
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Happy 10 week Birthday Puppies!
The puppies have made it to 10 weeks! They are officially 70 days old. That equates to 1.43 years old in dog years! They are totally different from each other. But luckily they have each other to wear off some of the pent up terrier energy.
Quick update:
Monty: Big Brother, 7 pounds (he's a big guy), fuzzy and getting fuzzier, calmer of the 2, big paws
Izzie: Lil' Sister, 5 pounds (see the difference), quick like her mom, easily excitable, not sure if she is going to be smooth or broken coat but so far smooth, most active of the 2
Here are a few more pictures for your enjoyment
Quick update:
Monty: Big Brother, 7 pounds (he's a big guy), fuzzy and getting fuzzier, calmer of the 2, big paws
Izzie: Lil' Sister, 5 pounds (see the difference), quick like her mom, easily excitable, not sure if she is going to be smooth or broken coat but so far smooth, most active of the 2
Here are a few more pictures for your enjoyment
Monday, February 19, 2007
Day off...
Everyone (just about) got today off from work except me. My work place stinks! In my opinion, if post offices and banks are closed, so should just about every other small town business. Just wanted to share that with you all.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Half Way Mark!
So I've made it half way through February. Not that I wasn't going to make it... But February is half over, how about that? So let me give you a little update on how my New Month Resolutions are going:
1. Not step foot in Target for the WHOLE month - So far so good. Haven't stepped foot in Target.
2. Lose 5 pounds. Last month I lost 6.4. So this is totally doable - Haven't reached the 5 pounds yet. Don't know if I will honestly. Have lost .6 pounds (do you plural .6?) But I'm still going to try to get to 5 for the month.
3. Take a day trip somewhere - Haven't gone anywhere yet. But in a dream my family bought this outrageous 5 story house near the coast somewhere. It was fantastic! Still 2 weeks to go somewhere.
4. Not mope on the dreaded Valentine's Day because I don't have a Valentine - Trying to not mope. Trying to praise God for all that he has given me. My plan for today is to help my parents cater at Hilmar Covenant Church's Valentine's dinner. Then good to a friend's for a chocolate party.
5. Take my mom out to lunch - Still time to fulfill this one. Mom and I did go run errands in Turlock today. Hallmark (for V-day card shopping for Mom) and Costco.
6. Heavily pursue finding a new job - Written "test" tomorrow afternoon with the City of Modesto for the position that I applied for and have already interviewed once with. An old friend just sent me a link for a company that is hiring, so I will be looking into and pursuing those also.
7. Actively seek God in my day to day life worshiping Him and bring Him glory - This is one of those things that I will always strive to succeed at. I will always feel I'm not reaching God's expectations, but that is only the reason to seek harder. I have been challenged though the weekly Bible study that I am in and with Spiritual Formation Sunday mornings.
Update as of 2/14/07.
1. Not step foot in Target for the WHOLE month - So far so good. Haven't stepped foot in Target.
2. Lose 5 pounds. Last month I lost 6.4. So this is totally doable - Haven't reached the 5 pounds yet. Don't know if I will honestly. Have lost .6 pounds (do you plural .6?) But I'm still going to try to get to 5 for the month.
3. Take a day trip somewhere - Haven't gone anywhere yet. But in a dream my family bought this outrageous 5 story house near the coast somewhere. It was fantastic! Still 2 weeks to go somewhere.
4. Not mope on the dreaded Valentine's Day because I don't have a Valentine - Trying to not mope. Trying to praise God for all that he has given me. My plan for today is to help my parents cater at Hilmar Covenant Church's Valentine's dinner. Then good to a friend's for a chocolate party.
5. Take my mom out to lunch - Still time to fulfill this one. Mom and I did go run errands in Turlock today. Hallmark (for V-day card shopping for Mom) and Costco.
6. Heavily pursue finding a new job - Written "test" tomorrow afternoon with the City of Modesto for the position that I applied for and have already interviewed once with. An old friend just sent me a link for a company that is hiring, so I will be looking into and pursuing those also.
7. Actively seek God in my day to day life worshiping Him and bring Him glory - This is one of those things that I will always strive to succeed at. I will always feel I'm not reaching God's expectations, but that is only the reason to seek harder. I have been challenged though the weekly Bible study that I am in and with Spiritual Formation Sunday mornings.
Update as of 2/14/07.
I strongly dislike Valentine's Day...
Here are some great graphics for the Anti-Valentine Dayers, like myself.
So here's to a Happy Valentine's Day! Now it's time to eat chocolate!
So here's to a Happy Valentine's Day! Now it's time to eat chocolate!
How to receive a compliment?
I love compliments just as much as anyone else. And I do my best to take them graciously. Over the course of the last year I have received more or less the same compliment from numerous people, some of whom I barely know and barely know me. It goes something like this, "Courtney, you have a kind, gentle heart. You are a very nurturing person and someday you will make a great mother. You know how to be stern but compassionate at the same time. You are always taking care of people and things, and you do it well." How do I take that? Me, I see my life slipping away for that opportunity. Yea, sure, I'm only 26 almost 27. BUT! I'm no where near dating anyone right now. I'm no where near becoming someone's mother. So, how do I accept those compliments? Well, I thank them of course, as tears well up in my eyes and I try not to show too much emotion towards my greatest fear.
I know all the self doubts that I have come from Satan. And with the help of God I can make it through the temptations to give in to the self doubts. But it still rips me up inside. My one desire in life, after following God with all my heart, is to be a wife and a mother. Maybe God is leading these people in my life to say those things to me as a way of reassuring me that yes, someday it will happen. I can only pray that that is true.
But you see, I had (still have) a plan. Married by 24, children by 27/28, then married/family life from that point on. And still, as I have passed those planned ages of having accomplished life marks, I mentally still plan. Well, if I met a guy tomorrow, we'll date for a year or so, engaged for a year, married (now I'll be pushing 30), well, can't wait now too long for kids so instead of 4 years of just being married and enjoying ourselves having fun and traveling we'll knock it down to 2. That's the kind of dialog that goes on in my head.
I am a planner and an analyzer. Hence the problem, how do you accept a compliment about being a nurturing, gentle hearted great mother of the some days in the future...?
I know all the self doubts that I have come from Satan. And with the help of God I can make it through the temptations to give in to the self doubts. But it still rips me up inside. My one desire in life, after following God with all my heart, is to be a wife and a mother. Maybe God is leading these people in my life to say those things to me as a way of reassuring me that yes, someday it will happen. I can only pray that that is true.
But you see, I had (still have) a plan. Married by 24, children by 27/28, then married/family life from that point on. And still, as I have passed those planned ages of having accomplished life marks, I mentally still plan. Well, if I met a guy tomorrow, we'll date for a year or so, engaged for a year, married (now I'll be pushing 30), well, can't wait now too long for kids so instead of 4 years of just being married and enjoying ourselves having fun and traveling we'll knock it down to 2. That's the kind of dialog that goes on in my head.
I am a planner and an analyzer. Hence the problem, how do you accept a compliment about being a nurturing, gentle hearted great mother of the some days in the future...?
Thursday, February 1, 2007
New Month Resolutions
I'm not so good with the whole New Year's Resolutions. Just like everyone else I end up breaking them 2 months into the year. That's why I've decided that this year I'm going to have New Month Resolutions instead of New Year Resolutions. Little short term goals that are more attainable that year long goals. My NMR for February are (not in any particular order):
1. Not step foot in Target for the WHOLE month. I shop there way too much, a lot of times just because I'm bored. And I don't walk out of there without buying something and spending at least $30, once or twice a week! It's time to take a break and see if I come out ahead and not in the negative. Honestly, I can get the basics that I need at the grocery store.
2. Lose 5 pounds. Last month I lost 6.4. So this is totally doable.
3. Take a day trip somewhere. Monterey was January, maybe Sacramento or San Francisco for this month.
4. Not mope on the dreaded Valentine's Day because I don't have a Valentine. But rather rejoice because God has good things planned for my life and each new day is a day closer to meeting my future mate.
5. Take my mom out to lunch.
6. Heavily pursue finding a new job.
7. Actively seek God in my day to day life worshiping Him and bring Him glory.
What are some resolutions that others have?
1. Not step foot in Target for the WHOLE month. I shop there way too much, a lot of times just because I'm bored. And I don't walk out of there without buying something and spending at least $30, once or twice a week! It's time to take a break and see if I come out ahead and not in the negative. Honestly, I can get the basics that I need at the grocery store.
2. Lose 5 pounds. Last month I lost 6.4. So this is totally doable.
3. Take a day trip somewhere. Monterey was January, maybe Sacramento or San Francisco for this month.
4. Not mope on the dreaded Valentine's Day because I don't have a Valentine. But rather rejoice because God has good things planned for my life and each new day is a day closer to meeting my future mate.
5. Take my mom out to lunch.
6. Heavily pursue finding a new job.
7. Actively seek God in my day to day life worshiping Him and bring Him glory.
What are some resolutions that others have?
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