I'm in the midst of reading a book. Yea, I know, I'm trying to get back in the habit of taking time to read and not goof off on the internet. The book I'm currently reading is called Alphabet Weekends by Elizabeth Noble. I read this section and thought, wow, this is exactly how I'm feeling. So I thought I'd share it. It's part of a conversation being held between Natalie and her dad...
"I feel like a failure, Dad. No one wants me."
Nicholas's chest hurt. "That's not true, my love."
"I know what you're going to say, Dad, because you've said it before. It's his loss, he's the fool, I'm beautiful and lovely, and some lucky guy out there is waiting to make me happy. I've heard it before. I believed it before. I just don't believe it any more."
Yep, that's me in a nut shell. Except there is no "his loss, he's the fool."
I want a happy ending. I want the "some lucky guy out there". I want to be romanced and loved. I want to be a wife and a mother. Sure, tell me I'm still young, there's plenty of time. I say phewy on you. No one has shown interest in me in years. I haven't been on a date in years. I haven't been kissed or kissed a guy in years.
Is it bad for me to want that?