January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels. Hello!!!... Bottles won't fit in the printer!!!
March - Got really excited... Finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months... Box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours... Power went out!!!
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid... Wrong instructions... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!
June - Tried to go water skiing... Couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition... Learned later the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm... Car swamped because soft-top was open.
September - The capital of California is "C"... Isn't it???
October - Hate M & M's... They are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days... Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!
December - Couldn't call 911. "Duh"... There's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!