I need prayer. Dennis needs prayer. Together as a couple we need prayer.
Last night things started to come to a head. Dennis is overwhelmed in many areas of his life, which is causing him to pull back and distance himself from the relationship and from me. He feels as though he has no time for himself or for God, which is true. And I hate to admit, but I may be partly to blame for that. When he isn't at work, he has his kids, and when he doesn't have his kids his roommate is home. Therefore no privacy, no quiet time, no alone time. And of course, I want to talk to him every free second he has. There is a list of things that he is stressed and overwhelmed about. He also feels a heavy burden because of his past, being divorced with children, which I accept. His past has made him who he is today, and if I didn't accept it I wouldn't have gotten as involved as I have.
Things started last night that he doesn't know if we are working out or if we are going to work out. But of course he couldn't talk due to no privacy, so text messaging back and forth followed.
Last night I couldn't sleep. But everytime I woke up I went straight to God. I woke up, if you can call it that from not sleeping all night, with knots in my stomach. I almost called in sick, but I didn't. I told him in a text last night that I wouldn't text him unless I heard from him first. After sitting at work for over an hour, not texting him was killing me. We always start our morning off with at least a text and eventually a phone call. So I broke, I texted him. I told him that it's too hard not to text him. So a good morning, I hardly slept, I have knots in my stomach, I prayed all night, and that I love him. I honestly wasn't sure if I'd get a response, but I did. He's busy at work with big-wigs coming to visit this week, thanks for my words, he's overwhelmed with the kids and all and his parents' health isn't the best. He's going through a tough time.
Please pray that during this time in God's fire, that Dennis will be able to find clarity and peace. Pray that it's just the stress from the hustle and bustle of the holiday season working retail causing a majority of his overwhelmed feeling. Pray that his ex will give him a break with the kids and give him some time off. Pray that he will get rest, not only physically, but also rest in the Lord. Pray that he will still want to come down and visit in a couple weeks.
Pray for my heart, pray that it will be strong and supportive. Pray that I can give him the space that he needs. Pray that we will get through this and that it will make us stronger as a couple. Pray that Satan will not play on my insecurities, causing me to freak out and worry.
Pray for God's will in our lives individually but also together. Pray that our desires for each other will line up with his will. I want Dennis in my life, as a part of my life, but I also want God's will. And honestly I don't know what I'll do if they don't line up.
Pray that this is just a hiccup in our relationship and that we survive. That this will makes us stronger and communicate better.
Lord, these are my prayers. Heavenly Father let your will be done now and forever.