If Men Got Pregnant

• Maternity leave would last two years...with full pay.
• There would be a cure for stretch marks.
• Natural childbirth would become obsolete.
• Morning sickness would rank as the nations #1 health problem.
• All methods of birth control would be 100% effective.
• Children would be kept in the hospital until toilet-trained.
• Men would be eager to talk about commitment.
• They wouldn't think twins were so cute.
• Sons would have to be home from dates by 10:00pm.
• Briefcases would be used as diaper bags.
• Paternity suits would be a fashion line of clothes.
• They'd stay in bed during the entire pregnancy.
• Restaurants would include ice cream and pickles as main entree's.
• Women would rule the world.
  

Questions I'm Trying to Answer

How do you throw away a garbage can?

Quote of the Day

I quit being afraid when my first venture failed and the sky didn't fall down.
— Allen H. Neuharth

I gotta work on that... I'm a 'fraidy-cat!

A Dictionary For Women

• Aaaack (aak) interj.
  An utterance upon running directly into a spider web first thing in the morning - and you don't know where the spider is.
• Airhead (er*hed) n.
  What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
• Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n.
  A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
• Balance the checkbook (bal*ens da chek*buk) v.
  To go to the cash machine and hit "inquire."
• Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n.
  You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but *he* "made the dinner."
• Blonde jokes (blond joks) n.
  Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
• Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n.
  Gotta get married in a church.
• Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n.
  An appliance designed to eat socks.
• Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n.
  A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound of peanut M&Ms.
• Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n.
  The last two minutes of a basketball game.
• Exercise (ex*er*siz) v.
  To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchasing.
• Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n.
  What you spend half an hour waiting, then forget to take with you to the store.
• Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n.
  Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician".
• Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n.
  Similar to a black hole in space - if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.
• Childbirth (child*brth) n.
  You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold you hand and say "focus...breath...push..."
• Lipstick (lip*stik) n.
  On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!
• Park (park) v./n.
  Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.
• Patience (pa*shens) n.
  The most important ingredient for dating, marriage, and children. See also "tranquilizers".
• Valentine's Day (val*en*timez dae) n.
  A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.
• Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n.
  Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
• Zillion (zil*yen) n.
  The number of times you ask someone to take out the trash, then end up doing it yourself...anyway.
  

Haha funny!

Q: What do you get when you gross a Jehovah's Witness with an atheist?
A: Someone who knocks on your door for no reason.

Can this be the end?

Paige standing at the Higuera Street side of Bubblegum Alley, Downtown San Luis Obispo, demonstrating the proper application of bubblegum to the alley walls. Now, there are many ways, but I'm sure this is the most common.

First you chew gum to the point of gumminess.

Then you affix the gum to the wall of the alley with your hand. Now, I've heard of people that will use their mouth to stick it to the wall. But now that's just wrong!

Now the problem is, that despite the fact that Bubblegum Alley has been around for the past 30 to 40 years, it is being threatened to no longer be the landmark that it is. The Garden Street Terraces have been approved to be built in the downtown area. The proposed site is the block between Garden and Broad streets between Higuera and Marsh streets. The location is currently home to a parking lot, several stores, restaurants, bars and Bubblegum Alley. Do you see the problem?

I gotta figure out how to get them to more the proposed site. Yes, me, one person. But if you've been there and want to help with the campaign let me know. So what should the plan be? I know, I'll go set up shop and live in the alley. I'll chain myself to the walls. I'll picket! Yea, I'll picket.

Ok, another demonstration on how to stick the gum. This time by Kaitlin. Gum on finger. Get ready, get set...

Get stickin'!

Thank you to my lovely assistants. Ok, I've gotta get started on making my signs.

Make love, not war!

The Rules

1. The female always makes the rules.
2. The rules are subject to change without notice.
3. No Male can possible know all the rules.
4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some of the rules.
5. The Female is never wrong.
6. If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong.
7. If Rule #6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
8. The Female can change her mind at any time.
9. The Male must never change his mind without the express, written consent of the Female.
10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.
12. The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male know whether she wants him to be angry or upset.
13. The Male is expected to read the mind of the Female at all times.
14. At all times, what is important is what the Female meant, not what she said.
15. If the Male doesn't abide by the rules, it is because he can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.
16. If the Female has PMS, all the rules are null and void and the Male must cater to her every whim.
17. Any attempt to document the rules could result in bodily harm.
18. If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to Rule #5.
    

Wii Fit Review

I've had the Wii Fit for, oh, about a month now. And I'll tell you, I was sore after the first time using it. And with any break in time, or skipping activities and then going back to them, I'm sore all over again.

Here is a link to an article written by Health.com with their review of the device, Test-Driving the Wii Fit: Whee!. I thought it was very well

I've slacked lately. I need to get back on Wii Fit program!

Retirement

There comes a time if the lives of every pair of shoes that they must go into retirement. Move on to bigger and better things at the shoe retirement community. And that is what I must do with a pair. They've lived a great life with me and my feet, but it's time to go.

Quite frankly, it's because they are the only pair that I wore during the many months of cleaning, demoing, painting, moving, and any other task that went along with the remodel of the house. They've walked on things what should never be walked on. Touched things that should never have been touched. But most importantly, protected my feet.

These shoes did start out as a pair to wear only for the remodel. At one time, they were my main tennis shoes. I wore them when I worked out (once a year). And I wore them around town. I think they may have been the shoes that I got special to wear out and about during my first visit to Chicago.

After they lived that life they moved on to be my shoes that I wore when catering. Oh, the meat juices they've tasted. The important thing is that they were comfortable and protected my feet.

Quote of the Day

Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.
— Mohammed Ali

I don't know about you, but I feel that I should be all paid up until my time here is up.

Questions I'm Trying to Answer

Why, in a country where there is free speech, there are phone bills?

7 Days

That's all it took.

Yesterday. I received. My. Passport in the mail!!!

Yeah! And I didn't even expedite it. So much for 6-8 weeks.

I'm officially able to vacate the country temporarily to another country.

Where shall I go first...?

Oh the joys...

Of remodeling an older home. After years, and years, and years of not being used properly as a home, the plumbing pipes are a bit... plugged. There's some build up somewhere between the house and the street. Primarily focusing during the washing machine draining time.

I've been very fortunate. So far, water hasn't actually backed up and spilled over or ruined the flooring. That's my fear, gushing water all over the hard wood flooring. Not a good combination!

Problem is, I can't wash clothes and go to the bathroom at the same time. Well, I could go to the bathroom, just not flush. But that's just icky! And boy howdy, don't take a shower too! And I definitely cannot wash two loads in a row, one after the other.

You see, it all starts with bloop bloop blooping in the toilet. Then the bowl fills up with bubbles. (I could see there this could be kinda tripy for some...) Next thing you know the shower drain starts to make noise the bubbles and water start to slowly rise. And the water rises. And it rises. And I start to panic. Then I start madly plunging the drain. Only to realize that the motion of plunging is causing the water to move which is threating to gush over the edge. So I stop plunging. And I stand there in fear biting my nails. The at last, I can't take it anymore! I lift the lid on the washer to make it stop. After sometime, the water will go down. Then I put the lid down and let it finish.

Let me show you what happens...

First the toilet bloop, bloop, bloops and fills with water and bubbles. More bubbles than water.

Then the shower starts to fill. Notice it's not very high yet.

Starting to rise a little higher...

And it only starts to fill when the spin/drain cycle starts.

Now the water is high enough that almost empty bottles of stuff fall over and float. And this is how it will be for the next hour or so.

And Lordy, Lordy. Do not wash red rugs. I was minding my own business in the bathroom getting ready for a party. Mercy, if I didn't know that I was washing red rugs I would have feared for my life that one of the plagues was happening and that Revelations was coming true. I'm talkin' blood red water (with pink bubbles) came out of the drain.

Time to call Roto Rooter!

Roto Rooter Update (or other type plumber):
We were visited by a plumber late on Friday. And after much shoving things down holes and trying to clear the pipe, which some was, it was determined that roots were invading the main line. Stinkin' roots! After some himming and hawwing, we decided to let the plumber stick a camera down the main line to see how far in and how deep the exact location is. Well, it turns out that it is a majority of the pipe, about 48 feet worth. There was only one really bad root that we saw, but he pointed out many spots where they have poked through.

Hopefully, with what he cleared out I'll be able to have less problems temporarily.

So, anyone wanna help dig a long trench and install a main line...?

Christian Dating

Top 10 Lines Christian Women Use to Break-Up
10. "I'm sorry, I've found someone more spiritual."
9. "I'm sorry, it's just not God's will."
8. "I feel called to the ministry...very soon and very far from you as soon as possible."
7. "I'm sorry, it could never work. I'm a sanguine and you're a phlegmatic."
6. "God loves me and must have a better plan for my life."
5. "You know, I feel like I'm dating my brother."
4. "At least I got a lot out of our Bible studies together."
3. "You need someone with lower standards."
2. "I think we should just be prayer partners."
and...
1. "I do love you, but it's just agape now."

Top 10 Christian Pick-Up Lines
(most work best if you're a male...)
10. "I just don't feel called to celibacy."
9. "Did I tell you that my great-uncle was a personal friend of Billy Graham?"
8. "I don't see it myself, but people tell me I look like Michael W. Smith."
7. "What do you think Paul meant when he said, 'Greet everyone with a holy kiss?'"
6. "You have the body of Amy Grand and the soul of Mother Teresa." (do not get this confused!)
5. "You know, I'm really into relationship evangelism."
4. "I'm pretty flexible - I don't think a woman should be submissive on the first date."
3. "Before tonight, I never believed in predestination..."
2. "Just looking at you makes me feel all ecumenical."
and...
1. "I hear there's going to be a love offering tonight."

Ways To Cope With Stress

1. Put miniature marshmallows in your ears, hum off-key loudly.
2. Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa and vice-versa.
3. When someone says "have a nice day", tell them you have other plans.
4. Make a list of things to do that you have already done.
5. Fill out your tax form using Roman Numerals.
6. Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them from high places.
7. Leaf through "National Geographic" and draw underwear on the natives.
8. Stick a post-it that says, "Out to Lunch" on your forehead.
9. Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.
10. Buy a subscription to "Sleazoid Weekly" and send it to your boss's wife.
11. Pay your electric bill in pennies.
12. Drive to work in reverse.
13. Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.
14. Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.
15. Braid the hairs in each nostril.
16. Write a short story using alphabet soup.
17. Stare at people through the lines of a fork and pretend they're in jail.
18. Make up a language and ask people for directions in it.
19. Bill your doctor for time spent in his waiting room.
20. Calf up everyone in your rolodex; when they answer, say, "I must have the wrong number!"
    

Quote of the Day

If you count all your assets, you always show a profit.
— Robert Quillen

How wise and true that is!

I held a baby and all I got was a cold.

Wednesday I held a baby. A baby that was getting over a cold. Who would have thought that of all people, a 9 month old would pass her germs on to me?

I noticed yesterday that my throat was a little scratchy. And today I woke up unable to talk, breath, not cough and not not have a kleenex shoved up my nose.

(That's me holding up the little germ passer on-er.)

I guess I can't say she never gave me nothin'...

I saw a billboard yesterday that read:

NEED HELP?

CALL JESUS 1-800-505-3787

Out of curiosity, I did.

A Mexican fellow showed up with a lawnmower.

What was I thinking !!!

Food Blog

I'm in the process of creating a Food/Recipe Blog. Well, not really in the process, but yea, I kinda am. I've come to a dilemma.

What should I title it???

So here are a couple options. Please tell me if you like them, or have a different idea. Just remember, the sooner I get it up and running, the sooner I can post recipes, and the sooner you can try them.

Ok, option time... :

• A Pinch, A Splash, and A Dash
• Don't Forget to Use Silverware (so good you'll want to eat it with your hands!)
• Finding Your Way Around a Kitchen (easy, simple, basic recipes)
• Go Ahead, Lick the Bowl!

So what do you think? Please, be honest. And get back to me soon. I'm anxious to start. I've already have some to share!

Quote of the Day

A long dispute means both parties are wrong.
— Voltaire

The Stand Off

World War 3 almost happened in my front yard last night around 11:30. Oh boy, let me tell you!

I went out front. Yea, I know, why would I got outside at 11:30pm? Well, I was unpacking a Rubbermaid box, that I keep dumping miscellaneous stuff in, and I found a packet of wildflowers. I thought to myself, "Self, you watered earlier, maybe if you sprinkle them in your flower bed you'll get wildflowers." Notice I was just going to sprinkle them, not go through the motion of actually planting them. So I walked out my front door and was just about ready to walk down the steps to do the sprinkly bit, and a thing walked in front of the steps. Not run or scattered, but walked. Oh boy howdy, if it wasn't the mama possum of the murder victim from last week.

Oh and there was fire in her eyes! She was big and she was out for blood and avengance. She looked like an R.O.U.S. from The Princess Bride. Her hair raised up and she threated to bite my big toe if I stepped off the porch. So I threated back that I was gonna get my gun and end this once and for all! She didn't like that, she she ran and hid under my car. I yelled so more profanity and threated to get the gun. By now neighbors are turning their porch lights on and coming out in their bathrobes.

The mama possum didn't like this, so she ran across the street. Oh no, she's going after my parents! Straight to the barbecuer. Too back I couldn't just snap my fingers and ignite it. Toasted possum anyone?

I called my mom. Actually, I called the house...no answer. I called my mom's cell...no answer. I called my brother...no answer. I called the house again...finally an answer! Mom wasn't too concerned that there is a possum wandering out by the catering barbecuer and wood pile. And dad wasn't home, no wonder the car was gone! I decided to wait. I didn't want dad to get out of the car and the vermin to attach his ankles. So I waited, and I waited, and after about a minute I got tired or waiting. From the top of the porch I sprinkled the seeds then quickly went back inside where I triple locked my front and back doors.

Until next time mama possum, you don't stand a chance. I'll sic my dogs on you, both of them! Riley has been teaching Izzie everything she knows about killing your kind!

Ok, now. Do you really believe all that? Truth of the matter this is what really happened...

Story about the seeds in the box is true. Seeing the possum is true. The not running part, true. Definitely walked, more like a waddle. The thing was walking one way across my yard right by the step, saw me, turned around and walked the other way where it hid under my car. My heart is now racing a two miles a minute and feels like it's going to leap out of my chest. I feared that the possum would sense my fear and take advantage of me. That S.O.B. of a thing!

After a couple minutes of me standing motionless on the porch, the thing decided to make a break for it and waddle across the street to the barbecuer/wood pile area. I did try calling the whole Montague clan that lives in Hilmar, and after the 4th call finally got someone. But mom couldn't help. Dad was delivering coffee to his crew at work (such a nice guy!). And my brother was gone (he's always gone).

I decided it was safe and the possum wasn't going to rush me from across the street. So I, while shaking, opened the seed packet (probably spilling half of them on the porch) and quickly tossed them into the garden.

I went back inside where my girls were anxiously awaiting my safe return. I told Riley, "Next time, she's all yours!"

Moral of the story. If you, or your dog, kills a possum's baby, she'll be back for revenge.

It's just a darn good thing I have vicious dogs that will protect me!

Questions I'm Trying to Answer

If I save time, when do I get it back?

When is your time?

Today feels like a Friday. We had our quarterly employee luncheon and people are just in a jovial mood. One of my co-workers sent me an e-mail, and eventually it made its way around the office area and created a stir of conversations. And it was fun.

So for fun, I'm letting you all in on the website that was linked in the e-mail.

The Death Clock

So how old will you be living? When is your "expected" day of death?

Me? Well, on Friday, October 5, 2068 we'll all be having a party to celebrate my life...and I'll be there. But Saturday I won't be, so no party on Saturday. Only sorrow.

"Saturday, October 6, 2068

Seconds left to live...
1,902,720,941'ish'"

So, come on! Go check it out. It's all in good fun! Now... what does the death clock say about your life...?

Quote of the Day

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.
— Mac McCleary

Questions I'm Trying to Answer

What color does a chameleon change to when it sees itself in a mirror?

I'm Such a Loser!

And being a loser is a good thing! Here’s an update since last time I filled you in on my weight lose.

I meet my goal of losing 10 pounds by Jenn’s wedding, maybe not by my Weight Watcher’s weigh-ins, but by my own scale. I figured that was close enough. My second sub goal of my weight loss goal is to lose another 5 pounds by my class reunion on June 28th. By my own scale, I’m only 1.5 away from that. So I’m sittin’ pretty!

So here’s that chart showing my downward trend to skinnier me. Just as before, I’ve removed the actual weights on the y-axis for my own personal privacy. The dates and weights are based on my Weight Watcher weigh-ins that happens on Mondays.

Please note the most recent day, 6/16 is the new low of the year!

I’m currently down 9.2 from my weight watcher weigh ins. I think I’m doing quite well. I know that every week I won’t have a loss, but if I can just keep those days to a minimum, things will go in the right direction. Literally!Please help keep me motivated, hold me accountable, and slap my hand if I pick up a cheeseburger. Thanks!

Anyone want to be a loser with me?

Movies I've Seen in 2008: June

Sex And The City (theater): LOVED IT! It was the longest movie that went by in a flash. This movie was great. It gave a quick refresher on where the show ended and picked up nicely a few years from that. They (the powers that be that wrote, directed, and produced) did an excellent job of keeping with the style and format of the show. My advice, go see the movie. Even if you've never seen the series, go see the movie.

Little Nicky (TV): Ok, yea, I'm a little behind and haven't seen this movie. While working on my quilt yesterday, my viewing options were 1) Little Nicky, or 2) the US Open, which is like watching paint dry. So I watched Little Nicky. It was ok. Nothing that I'm going to make sure I watch again. And I dont' know if it's even on TV again and nothing else is on if I'll watch it. It's an ok movie if you can handle hell and hell jokes and mocking of heaven and angels. I say don't waste your time, but your call.

Quote of the Day

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
— Victor Frankl

Questions I'm Trying to Answer

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

Happy Father's Day Daddy!

"Any man can be a father. It takes someone special to be a dad."
— Anonymous

The Realistic Miracle Diet

Although, Weight Watchers says that "diet" is a 4 letter word. So we'll rename this "The Realistic Miracle 'Changing Eating Habits'"

Breakfast
1/2 grapefruit
1 slice of whole wheat toast
8 oz. low fat or skim milk
Lunch
4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 Oreo cookie
Mid-Afternoon Snack
Rest of Oreos in pack
2 pints Haagen Daz ice cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce, nuts, cherries, whipped cream
Dinner
2 loaves garlic bread with cheese
Large sausage and cheese pizza
4 cans o 1 large pitcher diet soda
3 Milky Way candy bars
Late Evening News
Entire Sara Lee cheesecake eaten directly from freeze

Rules for this diet 'Changing Eating Habits'

1. If you eat something and no one sees, it has no calories.
2. If you drink diet soda with candy bars, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count as long as you don't eat more than they do.
   
4. Food used for medicinal purposes never count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast, and Sara Lee cheesecake.
5. If you fatten up the people around you, then you look thinner.
6. Movie-related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entire entertainment package and are not part of one's personal intake. (Examples are Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, and Tootsie Rolls).
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking cookies cause caloric leakage.
8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. (Examples are peanut butter on a knife while making a sandwich or ice cream on a spoon while making a sundae.)
9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. For instance, spinach and pistachio ice cream, cauliflower and whipped cream.

NOTE: Chocolate is a universal substitute and may be used in place of any other food.

Quote of the Day

"One half of knowing what you want is knowing what you must give up before you get it."
— Sidney Howard

Change it up!

Ok. So I'm gonna change it up a little. I'm sure you've noticed that I've been posting a "quote of the day". Well, even though there is an unlimited number of inspiring quotes out there, I'm not willing to seek them all out. Wow, and it's only been like two weeks.

Don't fret. I'll still post them occasionally. Just not every day.

But I will still post something daily. Maybe some random questions that I've been trying to answer. Maybe a joke. And the quotes.

Now, when I post a random question. Please feel free to comment with you answer. In fact, I'd love it if you would do that.

I'll start it off right now...

When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

Check That Off!

This afternoon I made a little trip to a local post office where I turn in my passport application.

Cross that off of my 2008 list!

2 became 1. Then partied all weekend!

I have a cousin, his name is Claude. He's actually really my mom's cousin, but he's much closer in age to me and his mom is much closer in age to my mom. Well, after dating the lovely Bonnie for close to 10 years, they got hitched. And as one of their bridal party members said during one of the toasts, "After 10 years, we're turning this into a 3 day celebration!" And that it was!

The festivities (for us non-wedding party folk) started on Friday. Paige, Kaitlin, and I headed out of Hilmar before my parents so we could go to Monterey and visit with Chris for a bit before the wedding. We got to his dorm while he and his roommates were cleaning up (before they had to check out for the summer). We dragged Chris out and went to lunch at Pizza My Heart. The ceremony was held at the San Juan Baptista Mission where Bonnie grew up going to church. It was a beautiful site, very old and rugged.

Followed by a reception (#1) just up the road at a nice banquet restaurant site. It was nice to start the celebrations with the newly married couple. Something that they did for this reception that I had never seen before were to have 2 different food buffet lines. One was the bride's buffet with more salads and cold dishes, and the other was the groom's buffet with more the meat and potato items. I went through both. And both were yummy.

I was totally in love with the view that we had behind us.

As the (reserved) party started winding down we headed back to Monterey where we were staying the night. Paige with Chris in his dorm room, Kaitlin, Mom, Dad and I in the Cabo (white trash camper shell). It was interesting staying the night in a college parking lot on moving out weekend the night before graduation.

By about 9 the next morning wer were moving about. Being as I got to drive in style, Mom's Pathfinder, and had extra room in the back, we loaded some of Chris' stuff up. He stayed behind in Monterey to clean up, pack up, and head home. The rest of us got into our respective vehicles, truck and suv, and started making our way down to the ranch (Santa Margarita) for another night of festivities, but this one with more family, friends, people, drinking, dancing, well you get the picture.

We got to the ranch around 11am or so. Setting up tables, chairs, and the bar was underway. But! We had another agenda. For my birthday, it was my request to have my birthday meal (knowing it would be a couple days late) at Firestone Bar & Grill for lunch. I love Firestone Bar & Grill. So we drove over the grade into San Luis Obispo (my old stompin' ground) where we walked around downtown and had lunch. Side salad with ranch for me with fries that we shared. That was my thing to order there. I know, boring. But it was delish!

Knowing that it was time to head back and offer our assistance, we left the (not so cool) SLO and head back over the grade.

Now this gets to be the point where I can bore you and post 248 pictures of my family, cousins, aunts, and all, goofing off and having fun. But I'll be nice and save most of those for a later day. So here is a nice selection of say...5. Yea, I'll narrow it down to 5. Maybe 6. But no more than 7! And I'll save the pictures of the ranch itself for later. You don't care what a barn built by the Indians looks like right now.

The newly (day before) married couple!

The Arnold women. At least the cool ones! Starting at the left going counter clockwise we have: Aunt Missy (mom's sis), Me, Aunt Kate (actually my mom's aunt and my great aunt, but she's mom's age, long story for another day), Paige, Mom, Tricia (cousin), Kaitlin, Aunt Boo (mom's sis), Whitney (cousin), and Breanne (cousin).

Aunt Kate with her most adorable grandson, Clayton. By the way, Aunt Kate is the MOG (mother of the groom).

Two of my favorite people ever! My sisters! (You know, I think I need to print this picture and hang it on my wall!)

Kaitlin, my sister that is gone...forever...for the summer... maybe for fall too. *sniff* In case you're wondering, that is, uh, not an adult beverage. No, it's not! It's, uh, it's limeade. Yea, that's what it is. There is no tequilla in that whatsoever. In fact there's not beer in it either. Nope, straight, normal, plain limeade. Yea...

All of the immediate girl cousins. Me, Paige, Breanne, Tricia, Kaitlin, and Whitney. Yep, that's us. We're here to carry on the maiden name of our mother's, Arnold.

Shortly after the sun went down, and we were all tipsy enough, the dancing started. We, the cousins and I, realized that we do not have the dancing gene. But luckily, we were related to half the people there, so neither did they! Here's Paige gettin' down with her bad self!

And that's pretty much how we ended the evening. Some dancing. Some mingling. Some skipping out to go to bed (ok, that was just me). All in all, it was a wonderful weekend. Good to get away, good to see family, good to visit SLO. Just good.

Quote of the Day

"If you cannot find the truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it?"
— Dogen

Quote of the Day

Forgo your anger for a moment and save yourself a hundred days of trouble.
— Chinese proverb

It's official!

I've just sent my check off for my 10 year class reunion.

I'll be honest, the main reason I want to go is to see who has gained weight, had kids, been married and divorced (2 within my circle of high school friends), who married who. You know, the nosey normal stuff.

So, that's were I'll be on the 28th. Reminiscing about the good ol' days.

Early Start to the Day

And no. Not because I got a wild hair up my buttah to workout. Not because I want to get to work super early. Definitely not because I was all rested up from my evening's slumber.

No, because at 5am my precious, stubborn dog, Riley, decided she wanted to go outside. And not wanting an accident inside, I let her out. Izzie followed, she's always up for going outside.

Now, let me start by explaining my evening and the doggie's new outside obsession. Last night, after dinner with the family (those still home), running into town with my Dad and then hanging out with the parents for a little bit, I took the girls (Riley and Izzie) home. Being as I currently do not have a dog door for the back door, I opened up the back door once home so they could run around and explore. That's what they do best, explore.

I noticed that Riley was a bit too interested in a particular corner of the yard. The corner shared with the Wickstrom's (next door neighbor) and the Schulze's (other side of the fence neighbor). She was busy trying to shove her chubby little body through a hole, she only got half of it through. Great! Just what I need, my dog to scoot to the other side of the hole into the Schulze's yard at 10:30 at night. So I brought them inside after much protest and treat bribbing, which didn't work as well as it normally does.

Well, this morning... This morning at 5 am (5 am people!) Riley started scratching at the bedroom door. Again, if she's gotta go "take care of business" it's not going to be in the house. So I let both she and Izzie out. And of course, Riley bee-lined it to that same blasted corner of the yard. So I ran though the house to grab a pair of flip flops. Luckily I was wise enough to put my glasses on before leaving the bedroom.

In the amount of time that it took me to grab flip flops and put them on (47 seconds), and then run to that corner in the yard (another 13 seconds) Riley, my little vermin catcher, had something in her mouth and she was chomping on it. This something had a tail, and tail bigger than a mouse. Eek! A rat! I'm quietly panicking because I don't want to wake the neighbors, lest you forget, it's now 5:01 am. I grab both dogs by the scruff of the neck to take back to the house. As I carry them to the house I'm praying that Riley doesn't get rabies and foam at the mouth, that she doesn't try to kiss me for the next 5 1/2 weeks, and that the tailed thing doesn't drag itself away in the minute it takes for me to toss the dogs in the house (while double checking that the door is unlocked) and grab a shovel.

Shovel in hand, I walk with my socks and flip flops (oh, did I forget to mention I had socks on too) to the tailed vermin thing. Now, at this point I was torn. Do I ... just-in-case-it's-not-dead end it, or do I just carry it to the trash can and pray for the best? I went for the clean route and carried it's little POSSUM body to the trash can. That's right, it definitely did not have the head of a rat. Thump, into the empty trash can it went. I went about my 5:02 am morning business and crawled back into bed. Riley was not allowed to join me, she had to sleep on her dog bed on the floor. Although, I think she was upset with me because I ended her fun, so she was fine with the floor.

Jump to 7am. Official planned time of getting out of bed. Dogs run straight to the back door. This time I had the insight to put flip flops on before letting them out. Riley ran staight to the corner, Izzie just ran around like a spaz. Riley was trying to find her "new toy" with no avail, so she moved on. Izzie realizes that there is a new smell and scopes it out. Oh, and she finds that there is a hold in the fence, Riley may not have been able to fit though, but Izzie can (she's a little petite thing). Distract, distract, run around the yard like a chicken, get their attention. I grabbed an extra fence board, propped it up to cover the hole, grabbed a stack of bricks to support the new board. Temporary solution. Problem diverted.

One problem still remains. And it's in my trash can. Curosity got the worst of me and I peeked in. And what I saw inside did not make my heart warm. A little (not baby, not adult) possum curled up in the corner looking at me! The nerve of it!

After getting ready for work I called my mom, told her don't let dad leave for work until I come over and tell them the story of my morning. Which I did, all the same detail as you got above. Dad's solution to the live tailed vermin possum thing in my trash can is to call Animal Control and have them take care of it. And "taking care of it" to them will probably be to relocate it.

After my dad left the room, and on my way out, I asked if my mom could just see if the brother could "take care of it" himself. I wouldn't want to subject some poor family in the vacinity of the relocation site to have to deal with the tailed vermin possum thing.

Oh, that thing better not try to get out of the trash between now and noon when the brother will start moving for the day.

Oh, and there better not be more things under the pool platform where this one came from.

And let this be known to all vermin in the neighborhood, I have a vermin-killin' dog. And she's training her daughter to do the same. You'll be a chomped on mess in worse condition than today's victim. So stay away or you'll be toast!

(You're welcome for sparing you pictures of the thing.)

(Also, please note, my dogs (at least Riley) do not actually eat the vermin, they just chomp 'em 'til they're dead.)

(Oh, and did I mention, my 5am outing consisted of me in my pajamas?... A t-shirt and underwear. I did not need to draw attention to my backyard, or get locked out. That would be bad!)

Quote of the Day

You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving.
— Anonymous

Sometimes you just gotta get a new one.

I am a college graduate. Not a graduate student, not do I have my graduate degree. But I graduated from college and I have an alma mater. And of this, I am extremely proud of myself. Not only did I attend a highly desirable college, but I did it with a Bachelor of Science in 4 years. 4 years is not all that common where from where I graduated.

The Christmas after I graduated, one of my gifts from my parents was a nice, shiney Alumni license plate frame. I put it on my car all by myself and again, pride swept over me.

Now, 6 years later (wow! has it really been that long?!?), that nice chrome look is a bit rusty. Literally rusty. So, while down in the area for my cousin's wedding last month (more on that to follow shortly) I made a stop to get a new license plate frame. And this is what I got...Well, it's actually not exactly that exact one. But it's the same principle, more of a pewter (unrustable) material, says alumni somewhere on it. You'll see.

Here is my current (old and rusted) frame.

Do you see the rust? How about up close?

Now a little swap-a-roo and voila! New and shiney (well, as shiney as pewter will get).

Now, which do you like better? Choose your answer wisely...

Quote of the Day

Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts.

— Charles Dickens

I'm gonna miss her...

Today one of my favorite people in the whole world left me. She's gone for the summer. And she might be (prayin' hard) gone for the fall too.

My youngest sister, Kaitlin left at 7:30am to head off to Mission Springs Christian Camp in Scotts Valley, California to be a camp counselor. I'm extremely proud that she's going and having this experience.

But you see, it's gonna be hard because she and I have become super close the past couple years. And she's never lived away from home.

My poor parents, she's an empty nester.

Oh, but wait, they've got my slug of a brother home for the summer...

Please keep Kaitlin in your prayers. That she may not be homesick, that she will have a good time bonding with the other counselors and the campers, and that she may her faith grow in God grow by leaps and bounds, and it shine to others.

And keep my parents in your prayers, that they will have patience with my slug of a brother.

One of these days...

I'm actually going to post one of the numerous blogs that I have started. They are all written out, just waiting for pictures. Which of course, all my pictures are located on my personal computer, not on my work computer where I spend a majority of my time. So, bear with me. They're coming. I'm not kidding, I have like, 30 in the works. Ok, maybe more like 15.

I need a wild hair...

Quote of the Day

Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God’s business.

— Michael J. Fox

Quote of the Day

Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness.

— James Thurber

Quote of the Day

Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.

— Lin Yutang

Quote of the Day

"Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."

-Douglas Adams



I guess that would be pretty similar to other things in life too...

Ever Wonder...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Quote of the Day

If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.

— Lawrence J. Peter

I'm such a slacker!

I worthless right now. Maybe you've noticed. I've been slacking on posts, and when I do post they've been filler kinds of things. And even at that, I've got them all scheduled to post on a certain day and time.

So, right now, I'm committing to being better at it. More about me. More pictures. More random rambling thoughts.

Anything else? What do you want? If you don't speak up, you're at the mercy of my time, thoughts, and life.

The Laws of Life

Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Bio-mechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Rugs/Carpets
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location
No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. (This one is true every time!)

Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

Quote of the Day

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.

— Dorothy Canfield Fisher

This is perfect for a belated Mother's Day! And since I didn't post anything for that day (cause I was at IKEA with my mother and father)... Here's to you Mom!

Quote of the Day

All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.

— Walt Disney

Amen to that! So, how do you get the courage to pursue them? What if you're too fearful of all of the possible negative outcomes?

Blogging Roots

I've been blogging for about a year and a half now. And I thought I'd reflect back on how I got started, and who I read regularly these days. So sit back, and prepare to click links to different people.


I once knew a girl who blogged (don't worry, I still know her), and I decided that I could do that too. Why not? What do I have to lose? So I started one. I wasn't consistant on when I posted, but then again, I'm still not. But I read her blog regularly. From there I found out that another friend has a blog, but she was even more inconsistent than I was/am. But that's ok, it's still good to read up on the going ons. I didn't venture out and view other blogs that often. Sometimes I visit his blog (even though he's a jerk and I don't like him).


Then one day while reading her blog I saw a link to this blog. So I checked it out, "hey, cool recipes" I thought to myself. And after looking around there a couple times I noticed that she had another site (since then both sites have been combined into one with more added). I love her site! I want to marry it. Not really.


And since then, I've found dozens and dozens and dozens, well you get the picture, of more blogs to read. Like her's, and, well, too many others to type in right now (plus they are all bookmarked at home).


I've even influenced my sister to start her own blog. Which will be good since she's looking to transfer to a college in the LA area.

And now I'm hooked. I'm a blog junkie.

Don't even get me started on food blogs!



I need help.

Quote of the Day

The great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been.

— Madeleine L’Engle

Yes, but you may want to forget them...

Quote of the Day

A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.

— Thomas Carlyle